Postpartum, Parenting, and Processing: An EMDR Therapist’s Perspective

Becoming a parent is one of the most profound life transitions a person can experience. As an EMDR trauma therapist and consultant who specializes in working with children and complex trauma, I thought I understood adaptation, attachment, and resilience well. Yet when I welcomed my daughter 19 months ago, I quickly learned that living through the postpartum period—while also holding space for the healing of others—was an entirely different experience.

In this post, I want to share reflections on navigating postpartum as a professional trauma therapist, grounded in the science of EMDR and the AIP model, while also weaving in the very real personal challenges of rest, recovery, and returning to work as a mother.

The Postpartum Period as a Window of Vulnerability and Growth

Research shows that postpartum is not only a time of significant hormonal, physical, and emotional change—it also activates the nervous system in ways that can amplify vulnerability. For trauma therapists, this period can be uniquely layered. We’re used to supporting others in building regulation and resilience, but in postpartum, we often face the raw edges of our own dysregulation, all the time.

The AIP model reminds us that how we adapt to new experiences depends on the neural networks laid down by past learning. Postpartum calls up attachment themes, bodily sensations, and beliefs that may have roots much earlier in life. For me, even as I celebrated my daughter, I found myself surprised by old patterns of self-doubt: Am I doing enough? Am I enough? How will I manage all this? These echoes highlight how core beliefs surface under new stressors. Even when I had done the work to address them.

Taking Time Off: Protecting Healing and Honoring Capacity

As therapists, we can be deeply committed to showing up for our clients. Yet science supports what many parents intuitively know: recovery takes time. Research on maternal mental health emphasizes the importance of adequate leave, rest, and support in preventing postpartum depression, anxiety, and burnout.

Taking time off was not only necessary for my body and family, but also for my professional integrity. Trauma healing work requires a regulated therapist. From an AIP perspective, I framed this time as creating space for adaptive networks to integrate—both my own, and eventually those of my clients, when I returned. Allowing myself to pause was not stepping back from the work, but investing in my capacity to do it well. Let’s face it, giving birth is traumatic, even when everything goes “right” and your body isn’t fighting against you; it is a trauma, and you deserve to rest, recover, and integrate healing after that.

Navigating Care for Self and Clients

Returning to client care required intentional boundaries. Early on, I had to acknowledge that my bandwidth was different. My nervous system was recalibrating to less sleep, new roles, and shifting identity. I leaned heavily on Phase 2 resourcing strategies—not just for my clients, but for myself. Practices like Safe Place, nurturing figure imagery, and body-based grounding were essential in helping me show up with presence while also recognizing when I needed rest.

I had to practice what I often encourage in others: transparency and pacing. Communicating clearly about availability and limits created safety for clients and for me. And when moments of guilt arose—about not “doing enough”—I reframed through AIP: my system was learning a new adaptive pathway, one that allowed me to balance professional care with maternal care, even if that meant I was no longer in the office until 6 pm every night and readily available when others needed me in that moment.

Returning as a Mom: A Different Lens on Trauma and Resilience

Coming back to EMDR work after becoming a mother has been both grounding and humbling. On one hand, my capacity for empathy has expanded—I can feel in my bones the weight parents carry, especially those supporting children through trauma. On the other hand, I’ve had to reckon with my own attachment system in new ways.

I see how becoming a parent activated both unprocessed material and opportunities for integration. When my daughter reaches for comfort, I’m reminded of the power of attunement and co-regulation, not only in parenting but also in therapy. When I face self-doubt, I remember the importance of installing positive cognitions—not just for clients, but for myself: I can pause. I am doing my best. I am not alone.

Final Reflections

Being both a trauma therapist and a parent means constantly navigating parallel processes. As my daughter grows, I grow too—sometimes unevenly, sometimes beautifully. What I’ve learned is that taking time off, resourcing myself, and holding boundaries are not just professional practices—they’re acts of alignment with the very principles of EMDR and AIP in daily life.

For those of us in this dual role, the work is never about perfect balance. It’s about honoring the nervous system’s capacity, trusting the process of adaptation, and remembering that integration happens over time.

And perhaps most importantly—it’s about giving ourselves the same grace we so freely extend to our clients.